Always Where I Need To Be
by mattandmello
Summary: Sequel to Denied Affections. Read Denied Affections first or you won't get it. boyxboy, implied "stuff", swearing.


**Meh****. Disclaimer blah blah blah. 'Sif any of you would think I actually own Ben Ten.**

**Sequel to **_**Denied Affections.**_

**Dedicated to Otaku Maiden for the awesome ideas :) Thank youuuu XD**

**Enjoy.**

**Always where I need to be**

I let myself into Ben's house with my spare key. Thankfully, it's warmer in here than it was out there but I still feel frozen. It isn't a cold day but I guess that's just what a broken heart does to you.

I had spent what felt like an eternity wandering around in the park, carefully avoiding any area that would remind me of Kevin, after running off and leaving him there, probably feeling quite guilty and embarrassed. At the time I didn't care that I had possibly hurt him or that I looked pitiful or even that I now had no way to get home. I was just so fucking desperate to get away from Kevin. I must have seemed like such an idiot to him, completely embarrassing myself, losing all control of my emotions and then childishly hiding in a park for ages. It wasn't even his fault exactly; he didn't know how I felt and I was too late, someone had beaten me to his heart.

I breathe in the familiar scent of Ben's house and walk into the Tennyson's lounge room, quietly placing all my stuff on the coffee table. After remembering that Ben's house is closer to the park than mine, I had decided to drop in and have a word to Ben. How could he have hidden this from me? I'm his cousin, his friend even, and we're closer than any brother and sister. Why hadn't he told me? I drop onto the couch and bury my face in my hands, leaning my elbows onto my knees, crying silently. Why? Why had everything gone wrong?

Taking deep, calming breaths, I wipe my eyes and walk down the hall towards the bathroom. I pause. There's noise coming from Ben's room. Does he know I'm here? I stay as quiet as I can, hoping to postpone seeing him for as long as I can – I don't think I can confront him yet. Once the house is silent again I continue into the bathroom, cautiously staring at my reflection in the mirror. I'm disappointed in what I see. I look terrible. Puffy, red skin, tear stained cheeks, soulless eyes, expressionless features. Angrily, I scrub my face in an attempt to wash away this new me and retrieve the usual cool, calm and collected one. When I look back up I look and feel worse, now red-faced and dripping wet. I sigh and climb into Ben's bath tub, covering my face with my hands again and sobbing pitifully.

I don't know who Kevin is anymore. I don't know who _I_ am anymore. I feel so useless and unwanted. My self-confidence and self-esteem have vanished completely along with my dignity and poise… everything I prided myself on being is gone. It seems that one boy can change a person. Thinking back over the time I've spent with Kevin I realise that I'd always thought I would end up with him eventually, like everything would naturally fall in to place. He probably felt the same way about Ben and I just never realised until it was too late. What do you do when the one thing you thought was constant in your life turns out to be a lie?

God, what is my problem? How am I ever going to face either of them? How did my day go from a beautiful picnic to a mental breakdown and broken heart? I've been fine without Kevin for this long, why is this any different from before? Well, except for the fact that my best friend and cousin are going out and the fact that said best friend was supposed to like me and the fact that I think I love Kevin and the fact that I think Kevin loves Ben and the fact that this was all kept from me for so long and the fact that I now know that I'm the lonely, rejected, unrequited third wheel. Besides all that, everything's completely normal. Fuck.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Calm down. I try to regain my composure as I climb out of the bath tub. Breathe in. Breathe out. Time to face the unavoidable facts; Kevin doesn't like me, Kevin likes Ben, Kevin is seeing Ben, he picked Ben over me, oh god. I screw my eyes shut, flinching away from my own thoughts. Breathe in. Breathe out. I should try to be happy for Ben – happy that he finally got someone after his horrible break up with Julie, happy that he found someone kind and caring and completely wonderful, happy that he found and receives love from his best friend – and fail miserably.

There's another noise from Ben's room, a heartwrenchingly sad cry almost. Ben's cry.

I quickly rewash my face and take a step towards the bedroom. I take a deep breath, feeling slightly calmer, more like myself from yesterday. Another step, another breath. I slowly make my way towards Ben's room and pause before his door. I remain as still and silent as I can, listening to Ben's muffled sobs, before starting at the deeper, richer tones of another's voice. Someone else is in there with Ben?

I gently push the door open a bit. I can't see anything but I can hear the voices clearer.

"Shh, Ben." Kevin? What? When did he get here? Surely I would've noticed him come in the front door and I don't remember seeing his car outside. "I'll all work out. I told her about how we've been together for a few weeks and that I'd prefer to just stay friends with her."

"What did she do?" I can hear tears in Ben's voice. Tears for me or for being found out?

"She ran off. Look, Ben, I tried to find her, really I tried, but she wasn't anywhere. I checked the whole park. Her phone's off. Her parents said she wasn't home. I've looked everywhere. I don't know what to do. I didn't want her to find out like this. God, Ben. I've fucked up so badly." His voice cracks and I feel the odd impulse to smile.

"It's not your fault, Kev. I should've told her, I should've-" Ben's voice is cut off and I can only just hear something if I strain myself.

What's happening in there? I stay outside the door for at least five more minutes hoping to hear something else but no other words are said. Every time I think there's another noise it goes quiet again. Finally tired of the silence I push the door open further to reveal more of Ben's room. The first thing I notice is the open window and Kevin's car parked out on the street. He climbed in though the window? That's… oddly romantic of him. I begin smiling at the thought despite myself. It's the second thing I notice that stops me in my tracks.

Kevin is sitting on Ben's bed, flushed and beautiful, with a shirtless Ben on his lap, the pair connected at the lips. As I stand entirely motionless, they part for a moment. Ben timidly tugs at the bottom of Kevin's shirts before tugging them both over his head, leaving Kevin's hair perfectly ruffled and his strong chest exposed. I blush brightly before clumsily leaving the room and closing the door, feeling embarrassed. God, what just happened? I replay the scene in my head and feel my face heat up again. Are they going to… Oh. My. God. No fucking way. Surely Ben and Kevin wouldn't…

I numbly leave Ben's house and walk home feeling oddly better and accepting about the whole situation. Once I get home I flip through my phone book, finding the number of a boy from school who has flirted with me every day since we met. I smile. Ben's got Kevin and I've rediscovered my resolve.

Please feel free to ignore the last paragraph. I completely failed at the ending. :( Sorry. It's early and I'm tired.

So I've got a sequel to _Cover My Eyes_ to work on next. Any requests? I've also got a few other stories coming up, I hope, that is if my muse agrees to help me out. :)

Oh and btw, I had review for _Denied Affections_ and I need to explain something. This is under GwenxKevin because it's about Gwen's love for Kevin, not BenxKevin. Should I change it?


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